I know when April makes its yearly debut without consulting the calendar because my wife usually says, “Let’s clean out the garage today. ” Trust me on this one, it is no April fool’s joke, but someone gets fooled. And believe me, I’m just not anybody’s fool. I’m my wife’s fool.
Somehow, her “let’s” has a funny singular ring to it and we had, if I remember correctly, a double ring wedding ceremony. Hers is on her behalf left ring finger while mine somehow ended up within my nose.
For some reason spring brings to women, wives particularly, an uncontrollable urge to wash something. It doesn’t matter what that something is, it has to be cleaned. Moreover, it does not matter how clean or dirty that something is or when it absolutely was last cleaned, it must certanly be cleaned again. They really seem to enjoy hoarder house clean outs Austin
This represents a basic philosophical difference between men and women. In the beginning, man was perfectly at home with dirt, then along came Eve and introduced spring-cleaning.
We have no idea how long it was between Adam and the time Eve came onto the scene, but it was long enough to get the entire Garden of Eden dirty, necessitating a thorough cleaning.
Thus began the yearly ritual called spring-cleaning. This tradition has been handed down from mother to daughter since the beginning of time. As far as I can ascertain, no father on record has handed down to his son any way of putting a stop to this non-sense. And don’t think I’m not only a little upset about that.
I do believe our forefathers could have found a fifth father to help come up with a workable want to get rid of this yearly onus.
But, it is spring and the time-honored ritual has come to our domestic den. Spring is in the air and spring-cleaning is on the agenda. I, on the other hand, had other plans, which did not include soap and water. So much for my plans. A husband’s plan is always subject to his wife’s rescheduling.
Every year I asked the same question. How in the world does spring get so dirty? And, more important, why do I have to clean it? I didn’t mess it up.
I believe Mother Nature ought to clean her own spring and never push this responsibility onto husbands like me that have better things to do with their time.
One year I got confused and cleaned my spring in the fall, which screwed up my whole cold temperatures wondering what I would do when spring actually arrived and it was already cleaned.
Spring-cleaning would not be so incredibly bad if I could use my definition of clean rather than my wife’s. One man’s clean is his wife’s “when are you going to clean that? ”
At the least, it would be helpful if spring-cleaning only came on leap year, which would give me an opportunity to hop out of the way before my good wife could spring in to action.